The focus on love and relationships often provides an opportunity to reflect on how we connect with those who matter most to us. While many express their affection through gift-giving, quality time, or acts of appreciation, it’s important to recognize that the nature of our attachments can significantly impact our well-being. Understanding these differences between healthy and toxic attachment styles is vital. So let’s explore the various attachment styles to better nurture healthy relationships while avoiding harmful ones when exploring new connections. 

Toxic Attachments 

Toxic attachments tend to be the root of heartbreaks that unfortunately many people go through. Falling for someone’s potential and all of what they can be, rather than what the situation truly is, often happens when involved in toxic attachments or situationships. Being too attached to another being is usually toxic, because you’re in a situation where you feel as though you need the other to feel whole. It’s so important that when you are involving yourself into any relationship, you are secure with yourself, leaving no room for toxic attachment to manifest itself into the connection. Let’s explore the different types of attachment styles  that can be seen within a relationship.

Avoidant Attachment 

Avoidant attachment style relates to the avoidance of a situation as an attempt to make it disappear. Oftentimes this attachment style is used when trying to avoid conflict within the relationship, in fear of causing a bigger deal about the situation at hand. Those who find themselves with avoidant attachment can have trouble expressing their true feelings and may come off as “nonchalant”. This attachment style can manifest itself into adulthood and exist in many aspects of a relationship. Avoidance can cause insecurity and miscommunication, and that’s never healthy or ideal in a relationship. 

Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment styles stems from the fear and anxiety that your partner won’t express or reciprocate the same feelings as you do. It can often come from trust issues in past relationships, or even past family trauma. These types of attachments thrive off of reassurance, they crave the approval from their partner. At times, this attachment style can become a recipe for heartbreak as the validation they seek is not what the other person can truly give them. 

Secure Attachment Style

A secure attachment style is one where both parties involved in the relationship are secure on their own. They can love and appreciate themselves and not rely on the other person for their own happiness. In a cohesive, healthy relationship, you should exist and be happy on your own, and your partner should be an addition to the happiness that already exists within yourself. You should push each other to be the best versions of yourself, and always have each other’s best interest in life with or without them. 

Healthy Relationships 

We all long for a healthy relationship that we can feel secure in. This means you and your partner are able to communicate efficiently, trust one another wholeheartedly, and respect each other indefinitely. These types of relationships don’t only have to be romantic. Recognizing healthy friendship and family relationships are  also incredibly vital. Any connection or relationship that exists within your life should serve to benefit you or be an addition to your life. Acknowledging your own attachment styles and tendencies can help you find the type of love that is healthy for you.  You should never feel drained when exploring relationships, because healthy relationships do exist! Set your standards high, and don’t settle for anyone less than exceptional!